How to Talk to Teenagers
#1 More Conversation Starters
"I'm trying to learn about [a new hobby/a different culture/a specific skill]. Do you have any experience with it, or know anyone who does?"
Showing a willingness to learn and asking for guidance can be a gentle way to start a conversation.
"I'm trying to decide between [option A] and [option B] for [dinner/my next purchase/a new hobby]. What do you think?"
Asking for their opinion on a simple choice can make them feel valued and engaged.
"I noticed you're [reading that book/drawing in that sketchbook/practicing that instrument]. What's it about/What are you working on?"
Acknowledging their activity shows you're paying attention and can lead to a discussion about their hobbies.
"That's a really [unique/cool/interesting] [item you have/tattoo/hair color]. What's the story behind it?"
A specific compliment about something distinctive they possess or have done can prompt a personal story.
"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your [artwork/writing/music]. It's really [impressive/unique/creative]!"
A specific compliment about their creative output can be very validating and encourage them to talk about their passion.
"Sorry, do you know if [the library is open/this bus goes downtown/there's a good coffee shop nearby]?"
A straightforward request for information gives them a clear, low-pressure way to respond and be helpful.
"It seems like everyone is [doing something specific, e.g., wearing headphones/looking at their phones/rushing around] today. What's up with that?"
A slightly humorous or observational comment about a general trend can invite a response.
"This [weather/food/situation] is [crazy/awesome/challenging], isn't it? [I can't believe it's so hot/This pizza is amazing/This line is so long!]"
A lighthearted comment about a shared experience or observation can open a conversation.
"What are your plans for [the weekend/summer break/after school]?"
Asking about their plans can give insight into their interests and open up a range of topics.
"I totally forgot [my headphones/my water bottle/that important item]! Do you ever do that?"
A relatable, self-deprecating comment about a minor lapse can create a sense of shared human experience.
"This [place/situation] reminds me of [a funny/interesting personal anecdote]. Have you ever had something like that happen?"
Sharing a brief, relevant personal story can invite them to share their own experiences, but requires them to be comfortable with more open-ended conversation.
"Wow, you're really good at [skateboarding/playing that instrument/drawing]! How long have you been doing that?"
A direct compliment about a skill you observe can be very effective, but make sure it's genuine.
"Do you know anything about [this historical event/that scientific concept/how to do this math problem]? I'm a bit stuck."
Similar to asking for help, but specifically about a knowledge-based topic where they might feel confident.
"What's your favorite [thing to do around here/class at school/genre of music]?"
An open-ended question about their preferences can spark a more personal conversation, but be prepared for a short answer.
"I'm trying to figure out how to [use this app/solve this puzzle/fix this thing]. You seem pretty good with [tech/puzzles/fixing things], any tips?"
Asking for help on a specific, achievable task can be disarming and empower them to share their knowledge.
"That's a cool [t-shirt/hoodie/backpack]! Where did you get it?"
A simple, direct compliment about something they're wearing or carrying can open the door for a brief interaction.
"That [sports team/band/game] is really [popular/good/exciting] right now, isn't it? Are you a fan?"
Tapping into current trends or popular culture can be an easy way to find common ground.
"(Drop something accidentally, like a pen or a bag) Oh, thanks! [You really saved me there/You have quick reflexes!]"
A small, natural interaction that involves a minor "accident" and a quick thank-you can break the ice.
"It looks like you're having [fun/a good time] with [your friends/that activity]. What's going on?"
Observing their positive engagement and showing curiosity can invite them to share.
"Are you looking forward to [that upcoming holiday/event/school break]?"
Asking about future positive events can lead to discussions about their hopes and plans.
"I heard about [that new movie/restaurant/event]. Have you [seen it/been there/checked it out] yet?"
Referring to a current, popular topic can prompt them to share their experiences or opinions.
"Hey, what's [that game/show/song] you're [playing/watching/listening to]? It looks [interesting/fun]."
This shows genuine curiosity about their interests and gives them an easy topic to share.
"It's really [crowded/quiet/busy] here today, isn't it? [Makes it hard to concentrate/Nice for getting things done]."
Commenting on a shared environmental observation can create a sense of common ground without being intrusive.
"That's a [tough/cool/interesting] [project/assignment/challenge] you're working on. What's it for?"
Commenting on something they're actively engaged in (like homework or a personal project) can demonstrate interest.