How to Talk to Guys at Cafés
#1 More Conversation Starters
"You look like you've been here a while. Is there a trick to getting a good seat?"
A playful observation about his presence, combined with a lighthearted question, can initiate a friendly exchange.
"Are you also trying to escape the [heat/rain/cold]?"
A relatable observation about the weather creates an immediate shared experience and can lead to a brief chat about current conditions.
"I saw you just finished that huge [cup of coffee]. Are you planning to stay here all day?"
A playful observation about his consumption, indicating you've noticed him and are curious about his plans.
"Your coffee smells amazing! What kind of [roast/flavor] is that?"
A compliment on his coffee choice is an indirect way to engage, focusing on something he's actively consuming.
"I'm so glad they have [oat milk/a specific pastry] here. It's so hard to find good [oat milk/pastry] anywhere!"
A shared appreciation for something specific the coffee shop offers can create an immediate connection.
"I'm trying to find a good spot to work. Do you know if this place has reliable Wi-Fi?"
Another practical question that can lead to a brief interaction and potentially a longer conversation about the coffee shop's amenities.
"Sorry, I couldn't help but notice your [book/notebook]. Are you a [student/writer]?"
This shows genuine curiosity about his activity and provides an easy way for him to talk about himself or his work.
"I love your [bag/backpack]! It looks like it could hold everything. Are you a [traveler/student]?"
A compliment on a functional item, followed by a playful guess about his life, shows you're observant and curious.
"That looks delicious! What did you order? I'm trying to decide what to get."
This is a gentle way to inquire about his choice and open a dialogue about coffee or food, which is a natural topic in a coffee shop.
"You look like you're having a really productive day! What's your secret?"
A slightly flirty and admiring comment that can make him feel good and open up about his work or habits.
"Excuse me, I know this is random, but I just had to say, you have great style!"
This is a direct and bold compliment. It's higher risk, but if delivered sincerely and confidently, it can be very effective.
"That's a really cool [phone case/watch/pair of glasses]. Where did you find it?"
A direct compliment on an accessory he chose shows you've noticed his style and gives him an easy topic to discuss.
"Excuse me, do you mind if I borrow that [chair/table]? It looks like the only one left."
A polite request that, if granted, can lead to a thank you and potentially a follow-up comment about the crowdedness or the search for a spot.
"I'm trying to cut back on [sugar/caffeine]. Any tips for ordering something still delicious?"
Asking for advice shows you value his opinion and can lead to a discussion about dietary habits or favorite drinks.
"I love that song playing right now! Do you know who it is?"
If there's music playing, this is a shared experience you can both comment on. It's a low-pressure way to find common ground.
"I'm having such a hard time deciding between the [latte] and the [cappuccino]. Which one would you recommend?"
Asking for a recommendation puts him in a helpful role and focuses the conversation on the shared experience of ordering.
"Wow, you're really focused! What are you working on if you don't mind me asking?"
This shows admiration for his concentration and a playful curiosity, inviting him to share without being too intrusive.
"Excuse me, do you know if there's an outlet available anywhere? My [phone/laptop] is about to die!"
A practical request creates an immediate, low-stakes interaction. He can can help you, and you can follow up with a thank you and potentially a question about what he's working on.
"I just moved to the area, and this is my first time here. Do you have any recommendations?"
Being new and seeking advice makes you approachable and gives him an opportunity to be a helpful guide.
"That's a really interesting [tattoo/piece of jewelry]. Does it have a story behind it?"
This is a more personal compliment, best used if you genuinely find the item intriguing. It invites him to share something about himself.
"This place is always so busy, isn't it? Are you a regular here too?"
A common observation about the environment allows you to gauge if he's a regular, potentially opening the door to future interactions.
"(Accidentally drop a pen near him) Oh, sorry! My hands are full. Could you possibly grab that for me?"
A subtle "accident" gives him an easy opportunity to be helpful, and you can follow up with a genuine thank you and perhaps a small comment.
"I'm trying to read more [fiction/non-fiction]. Do you have any good book recommendations?"
If he's reading, this is a natural way to connect over a shared interest and get his opinion.
"Hi! I love your [laptop sticker/book cover/t-shirt design] – where did you get it?"
This is a low-risk, positive opening. It shows you've noticed something specific about him that's likely a reflection of his interests, making it easy for him to respond and elaborate.