How to Talk to Men at Bars
#1 More Conversation Starters
"Do you know if they have [a specific type of beer/wine] here? I can't find it on the menu."
A simple, practical question that he might be able to answer, leading to a helpful interaction.
"Your laugh is [infectious/great]! What's so funny?"
A compliment on his laugh is personal and positive. It shows you're paying attention and are open to sharing in his enjoyment.
"This [band/DJ] is great, aren't they? Have you seen them before?"
If there's live music or a DJ, comment on it. It creates a shared experience and can lead to a discussion about music preferences.
"I think we might have just made eye contact across the room, so I figured I should come say hello."
A more direct and self-aware approach that acknowledges the moment and can be charmingly confident.
"I couldn't help but overhear you talking about [topic]. That's really [interesting/funny]."
If you genuinely overhear something, a light comment about it can be a natural way to join a conversation or start one based on a shared interest.
"You look like you're having a good time. What brings you out tonight?"
A general question that opens up possibilities for him to share about his evening, interests, or friends.
"This song just came on, and it reminds me of [a funny story/something specific]. Do you like this kind of music?"
Shares a personal, lighthearted anecdote linked to the music, inviting him to respond to the music or your story.
"(Make eye contact, then look away briefly, then back with a confident smile.) Is this seat taken? (Gesturing to a nearby empty seat.)"
A very direct action-oriented approach. It's clear about your intention to be near him and potentially converse.
"Are you celebrating something tonight? You look like you're in a great mood!"
A bit more speculative, but if he seems happy, it's a positive and engaging way to start. Even if he's not celebrating, he can tell you why he's happy.
"Excuse me, do you know if there's anywhere nearby that does [late-night food/good coffee]? (Look a little lost or curious.)"
Presents a simple, practical question that invites a helpful response. It positions you as approachable and needing a bit of assistance.
"I couldn't help but notice you seem to be enjoying that [book/game on your phone]. What are you [reading/playing]?"
If he's engrossed in something, a respectful inquiry about it shows interest and can lead to a deeper conversation about his hobbies.
"(Catch his eye and offer a small, friendly smile. If he smiles back, approach.) Hey, I just wanted to say hi."
A simple, direct, and confident approach that relies on initial mutual recognition.
"Excuse me, I think you dropped this. (Hold up a pen/coaster/napkin – something generic.)"
A classic accidental opener. It creates an immediate interaction and allows for an easy follow-up.
"Oh, are you familiar with [local landmark/event that just happened]? I was just thinking about it."
If there's a current event or well-known local topic, it can be a good shared reference point.
"Wow, this place is [packed/lively] tonight! Are you a regular here?"
A general observation about the bar's atmosphere. It's an easy way to break the ice and learn if he frequents the place.
"I'm a little new to this area. Any other great [bars/restaurants] you'd recommend around here?"
Positions you as someone exploring and open to suggestions, making him feel like he can offer valuable advice.
"That's an interesting [tattoo/piece of jewelry]. Does it have a story?"
A specific compliment about something unique he's wearing. Most people are happy to share the stories behind personal items.
"That [drink] looks amazing! What is it?"
A natural opener about something immediate in the environment. It's low-pressure and gives him a chance to explain or even offer you a taste.
"Hi, I noticed you from across the room. I love your [shirt/watch/shoes]."
A direct compliment on something visible he's wearing. It's flattering and gives him a clear opening to respond and potentially ask you a question in return.
"I'm on the hunt for the best [cocktail/craft beer] in town. Any recommendations from a pro?"
A playful and specific request for his expertise, making him feel knowledgeable and helpful.
"(If there's a slight pause in conversation with his friends, or if he's alone near you) Rough day, huh? Or just enjoying the quiet?"
A slightly more daring observation if he seems a bit contemplative or less engaged. It opens the door for him to share.
"I'm terrible at [pool/darts/bar trivia]. Do you ever play?"
If he's near a game or if there's an ongoing activity, comment on it and perhaps express a playful lack of skill, inviting him to teach or advise.
"I'm here with some friends, but they're all [dancing/at the bar]. Mind if I join you for a bit?"
A more direct approach, but it's honest and puts you in a position to easily join his group if he's with others, or just him.
"I'm trying to decide what to order. What's your go-to [drink] here?"
Asking for a recommendation is a classic and effective way to start a conversation. It shows you value his opinion.