How to Talk to Men at Bars
#1 More Conversation Starters
"Wow, this place is [packed/lively] tonight! Are you a regular here?"
A general observation about the bar's atmosphere. It's an easy way to break the ice and learn if he frequents the place.
"Oh, are you familiar with [local landmark/event that just happened]? I was just thinking about it."
If there's a current event or well-known local topic, it can be a good shared reference point.
"Excuse me, do you know if there's anywhere nearby that does [late-night food/good coffee]? (Look a little lost or curious.)"
Presents a simple, practical question that invites a helpful response. It positions you as approachable and needing a bit of assistance.
"(Catch his eye and offer a small, friendly smile. If he smiles back, approach.) Hey, I just wanted to say hi."
A simple, direct, and confident approach that relies on initial mutual recognition.
"I think we might have just made eye contact across the room, so I figured I should come say hello."
A more direct and self-aware approach that acknowledges the moment and can be charmingly confident.
"I'm here with some friends, but they're all [dancing/at the bar]. Mind if I join you for a bit?"
A more direct approach, but it's honest and puts you in a position to easily join his group if he's with others, or just him.
"That's an interesting [tattoo/piece of jewelry]. Does it have a story?"
A specific compliment about something unique he's wearing. Most people are happy to share the stories behind personal items.
"I'm trying to decide what to order. What's your go-to [drink] here?"
Asking for a recommendation is a classic and effective way to start a conversation. It shows you value his opinion.
"That [drink] looks amazing! What is it?"
A natural opener about something immediate in the environment. It's low-pressure and gives him a chance to explain or even offer you a taste.
"You look like you're having a good time. What brings you out tonight?"
A general question that opens up possibilities for him to share about his evening, interests, or friends.
"I couldn't help but overhear you talking about [topic]. That's really [interesting/funny]."
If you genuinely overhear something, a light comment about it can be a natural way to join a conversation or start one based on a shared interest.
"This [band/DJ] is great, aren't they? Have you seen them before?"
If there's live music or a DJ, comment on it. It creates a shared experience and can lead to a discussion about music preferences.
"(Make eye contact, then look away briefly, then back with a confident smile.) Is this seat taken? (Gesturing to a nearby empty seat.)"
A very direct action-oriented approach. It's clear about your intention to be near him and potentially converse.
"I couldn't help but notice you seem to be enjoying that [book/game on your phone]. What are you [reading/playing]?"
If he's engrossed in something, a respectful inquiry about it shows interest and can lead to a deeper conversation about his hobbies.
"Excuse me, I think you dropped this. (Hold up a pen/coaster/napkin – something generic.)"
A classic accidental opener. It creates an immediate interaction and allows for an easy follow-up.
"I'm terrible at [pool/darts/bar trivia]. Do you ever play?"
If he's near a game or if there's an ongoing activity, comment on it and perhaps express a playful lack of skill, inviting him to teach or advise.
"I'm on the hunt for the best [cocktail/craft beer] in town. Any recommendations from a pro?"
A playful and specific request for his expertise, making him feel knowledgeable and helpful.
"(If there's a slight pause in conversation with his friends, or if he's alone near you) Rough day, huh? Or just enjoying the quiet?"
A slightly more daring observation if he seems a bit contemplative or less engaged. It opens the door for him to share.
"I'm a little new to this area. Any other great [bars/restaurants] you'd recommend around here?"
Positions you as someone exploring and open to suggestions, making him feel like he can offer valuable advice.
"This song just came on, and it reminds me of [a funny story/something specific]. Do you like this kind of music?"
Shares a personal, lighthearted anecdote linked to the music, inviting him to respond to the music or your story.
"Hi, I noticed you from across the room. I love your [shirt/watch/shoes]."
A direct compliment on something visible he's wearing. It's flattering and gives him a clear opening to respond and potentially ask you a question in return.
"Are you celebrating something tonight? You look like you're in a great mood!"
A bit more speculative, but if he seems happy, it's a positive and engaging way to start. Even if he's not celebrating, he can tell you why he's happy.
"Do you know if they have [a specific type of beer/wine] here? I can't find it on the menu."
A simple, practical question that he might be able to answer, leading to a helpful interaction.
"Your laugh is [infectious/great]! What's so funny?"
A compliment on his laugh is personal and positive. It shows you're paying attention and are open to sharing in his enjoyment.