How to Talk to Girls

#2 Conversation Options

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"This [cafeteria food] is actually pretty good today, right?"
A lighthearted comment about a shared experience, like lunch, can be an easy way to start.
"Have you seen the new [movie/show]? Everyone's talking about it."
A popular culture reference is a great icebreaker. It's easy to discuss and can lead to talking about other interests.
"That new [video game] looks awesome. Have you played it?"
If you know she's into gaming, this is a direct and engaging question that shows you've noticed her interests.
"What kind of music are you into lately? I'm trying to find some new [bands/artists]."
Music is a universal connector. Asking about her preferences can open up a lot of discussion about tastes and experiences.
"(Drop pen near her) Oh, hey! Is this your [pen]?"
A subtle way to initiate interaction in a non-threatening manner. It provides a natural opening.
"That's a cool [t-shirt]! Where'd you get it?"
A simple, positive observation about something she's wearing. It's low-risk and gives her an easy topic to respond to.
"Are you going to the [school event/game] on [day]? I'm thinking about it."
Asking about upcoming school events shows interest in shared activities and opens the door for plans.
"Ugh, this [teacher/assignment] is so [annoying/hard]. Are you having trouble with it too?"
Shared frustration can build quick rapport. It's a safe way to commiserate and see if she's open to talking.
"I really liked your answer in [class] today about [topic]. That was smart!"
A genuine compliment on her intelligence or insight. It shows you pay attention and value her opinions.
"Your [drawing/art/notes] are really cool. Are you in [art class]?"
Complimenting her creative work or neatness shows observation and appreciation for her skills.
"Hey, did you finish that [history project]? I'm totally stuck on it."
Relatable question about schoolwork. It creates common ground and offers a chance to genuinely connect over shared struggles.
"What's your favorite thing to do when you're not at school?"
This broad question encourages her to talk about her hobbies and passions outside of the school setting.

Difficulty Score

65%

Overview

When you are young it can seem tough to start a casual conversation with people of the opposite gender, but just like anything, practice makes perfect. The most important thing is that one starts out on the journey. Once you are regularly speaking to girls, your social skills, confidence and experience will improve extremely quickly.

The first goal is to overcome anxiety: Girls are just like boys, but they often like and are interested in different things and topics. Try to know or guess what she likes and talk about that to avoid awkward moments. Try to make the conversation about her first and only secondarily about you and things that interest you.

Teasing her might be tempting, but she might take it personally. So try to act a bit more grown-up when talking to girls your own age. Do not expect your conversations to be perfect, as you will improve over time.

Top Tips

Here are some useful tips that may help you talk to girls as a boy:

  • Make eye-contact and greet people. It makes talking easier and opens doors.

  • Do try to resist teasing her. Try to act grown-up.

  • If you lack courage, start small. Say hi.

  • Wait for the right opportunity. Some situations will make it easy or even natural to talk.

  • Make eye contact, smile and ask a simple question to start.

Common Problems

Here are some of the potential problems you could face as a boy looking to start conversations with the opposite gender:

  • Forcing conversations is easier, but no one likes it. Make eye contact first to make sure she is interested in talking.

  • Some girls may be shy and not used to talking to boys.

  • Many boys do not quite understand the different interests and priorities that girls have and may need to adjust over time.

  • Girls and women alike tend to be more quickly insulted than boys and men. It pays to make sure not to insult her in any way. Even if by accident.

How To Learn

Learning starts with theoretical knowledge. Our tool can give you some easy-to-remember ways to start and carry forward the conversation. However, in order to become a good driver you have to actually drive a car regularly.

Go out there and use the tool to start practicing talking to both boys, girls and adults alike. Each skill carries over to the others. The more you are communicating with people, the better you will get. However, you do need to be honest with yourself about how well you performed in order to improve properly.

Starting out can be extremely hard due to anxiety. If you are too anxious, then start by talking to boys. If you are too anxious for that, then talk to your parents. If you are too anxious for that then stat by talking to your pet. The most important thing is to progress over time. It does not matter where you started learning. It matters only where you end up.

Pros

  • Social skills are extremely useful.
  • You are able to do something not everyone can.
  • An opportunity to learn new perspectives on the world.

Cons

  • Some girls may be shy.
  • Anxiety can be hard to overcome.
  • You have to learn to be more selfless.

Example

  1. Make eye contact with a girl that you would like to talk to and smile.

  2. If she smiles back, simply say "HI". If she does not or avoids eye contact, it is best to leave her alone.

  3. Ask a question related to the situation or something she might care about. Consult the tool if you need ideas.

  4. Keep asking questions to keep the conversation going and track her signals. If she ever seems disinterested or uncomfortable, even if she says otherwise, end the conversation casually. It is better to back out than creating awkward moments.

  5. End the conversation before it gets boring. End things while things are good to leave a good impression. You will be able to talk again later in most cases.

Conclusion

Overall, learning to talk to people early can make your life a lot easier in the future. And if you start learning early, you can improve extremely quickly. Overcoming anxiety, being more selfless and empathetic can be difficult for some boys, but as long as you keep training, you will eventually improve. Remember that girls are often interested in different topics than boys. Try to talk about the things she cares deeply about and she might open up more quickly. Most of all, do not be afraid to fail. No one can reach perfection without failing along the way.

This articles has been peer-reviewed and held to the highest editorial standards.

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