How to Talk to a Friend
#1 More Conversation Starters
"I'm trying to get better at [a skill/activity]. Do you have any tips for [X]?"
Asking for advice on a personal goal can be a vulnerable but effective way to connect, especially if they have experience in that area.
"I'm trying to [learn/figure out] [something new or a problem you're facing]. You're pretty good at [that kind of thing], any advice?"
Asking for their help or expertise is flattering and creates an opportunity for them to share their knowledge.
"Hey, how's your [day/week] going so far?"
This is a classic and simple opener that shows interest in their well-being and allows them to share as much or as little as they want.
"If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?"
A fun, imaginative question that can reveal their dreams and interests.
"(See them working on something) What are you working on there? Looks [interesting/challenging]!"
Showing interest in their current tasks or projects can lead to a deeper conversation about their work or hobbies.
"I'm trying to decide between [Option A] and [Option B] for [something relevant to both of you, e.g., dinner/a movie/a new show]. What's your take?"
Asking for their opinion on a relatable topic involves them and often leads to a discussion of preferences and experiences.
"(If you notice them [reading/listening to something]) What are you [reading/listening to]? Any good?"
Similar to noticing their phone, showing interest in their media consumption can lead to discussions about shared tastes.
"I've been meaning to ask you, what's one thing you're really excited about right now?"
This question focuses on positive feelings and can lead to an enthusiastic discussion about their current passions or plans.
"How was [that event/activity] you were [planning to do/just did]?"
Showing you remember details about their life demonstrates you care and gives them an easy opening to talk about their experience.
"(See them with a [unique item/piece of clothing]) That's a cool [item]! Where did you get it?"
Complimenting a specific, unique item can open up a discussion about where they found it or their personal style.
"(Overhear them mention something) Did you just say [X]? I was just thinking about that!"
Reacting to something you've overheard (without being creepy) shows you're engaged in the environment and looking for common ground.
"I'm brainstorming some ideas for [a shared interest/activity, e.g., our next hangout/a gift for someone]. Got any brilliant thoughts?"
Involving them in a shared or future activity makes them feel valued and sparks collaborative discussion.
"I just [read/heard/saw] something that reminded me of you. [Briefly mention what it was]. What do you think about [it/that]?"
Connecting something external to them shows you're thinking of them and provides a clear topic for discussion.
"I'm in need of some inspiration for [a personal project/hobby]. What's something that's really inspiring you lately?"
This question is a bit more personal but can lead to a meaningful exchange about passions and motivations.
"(If you know they were looking forward to something) Did you end up [doing/going to] [that thing]? How was it?"
Following up on previous conversations shows you listen and remember what they've told you.
"I was just thinking about [a common interest/hobby]. Have you heard about [recent development/news in that area]?"
Bringing up a shared interest is a reliable way to get them engaged in a topic they care about.
"(Walking past them) Hey! What are you up to?"
A simple, direct question that acknowledges their presence and asks about their current activity.
"What's the most interesting thing that's happened to you [today/this week]?"
This is an open-ended question that encourages them to share something beyond a simple 'good' or 'fine,' potentially leading to a more in-depth conversation.
"I'm feeling a bit [tired/stressed/bored] today. What's your go-to for [boosting energy/relaxing/beating boredom]?"
Sharing a minor personal feeling and asking for their advice can create a sense of camaraderie.
"(See them looking at their phone) What's got your attention? Anything [interesting/funny] happening?"
Acknowledging their current activity and showing genuine curiosity can easily transition into a conversation about what they're doing.
"This [situation/event] reminds me of that time when [briefly mention a related funny or interesting anecdote]."
Sharing a relevant anecdote can often spark reciprocal storytelling and shared laughter.
"I was just thinking about [a shared memory or inside joke]. That was [funny/great], wasn't it?"
Referencing a positive shared experience instantly creates a bond and invites them to reminisce with you.
"(You see them with a [new item/different hairstyle/etc.]) Hey, nice [new item]! Is that [new]?"
Complimenting something new or different about them is a low-risk way to initiate conversation and shows you notice details about them.
"I was just wondering, what's been your favorite [book/movie/song/game] lately?"
This is a gentle way to discover new common interests or get recommendations, leading to further discussion.