How to talk to Women at the Gym as a Man and what to Say

Are you interested in learning how to talk to women at the gym? Our tool and guide provide you with the best things to say when starting a conversation and the best questions to ask to keep it going on top of a complete guide.

"You guys are having fun. … Good, some people take the gym too seriously."

Take advantage of women laughing and horsing around at the gym to initiate contact. Low risk. See how they react.

"I like your outfit. What brand is that? I want to buy something like that for my sister."

Starting with a compliment. A good way to start a conversation without making things awkward.

"That guy is going REALLY hard, isn’t he? (React to weird stuff happening at the gym.)"

Use the situation when people do weird and funny stuff at the gym to initiate contact. Only if she visibly notices as well.

"Dam. You are looking good. Are you a fitness model?"

Very risky. Very flirty. Not recommended for beginners, but some women may respond to it. If you are feeling experimental.

"Doesn’t that hurt? (Correct her bad exercise form.)"

High risk. While correcting women of their exercise form is possible, some may take offense. And you better look like you know what you are doing.

"Sorry. The gym is extra crowded today."

Use physical proximity to initiate contact. Use the fact that the gym is crowded.

"Sorry. How many sets you got left? … You got good form."

Low risk. Ask to use a machine after she is done. Followed up by a comment of compliment. If she responds positively, it might start a conversation.

"Hey. You are here a lot. 5 times a week?"

Using the fact that you both go to the gym a lot to start talking. Vanilla, not risky at all.

"Seems I am not the only one who is suffering in this heat. (Use commonalities to start talking.)"

Pay attention to things that she has in common with you and that are obvious. Use them to initiate contact.

"Finally someone what does this exercise correctly. … How long have you been training."

Subtle compliment. A neutral way to start a conversation. Of course you have to know what ‘good form’ is to use it.

"Dam. You are strong. … How often do you train?"

You see her doing an above average weight for reps and use this fact to make contact.

"You are Sara’s friend, right?"

Use the fact that you know a lot of people at the gym and see them together to initiate a conversation.

"Are you a soccer player? (Guess her main sport?)"

High risk. But over time you will develop an eye for guessing correctly.

"Do you work here? You look like a personal trainer."

Compliment, slightly flirty. Use the fact that she is fit to initiate a conversation.

"Hey. Are your new here? I have never seen you here before."

Using the fact that someone is new to the gym in order to start a conversation. Very vanilla, but it works.

"You look fit. Do you compete?"

High risk. A flirty and direct way to try and make contact. For advanced users only.

"Sorry. You look so much like this one Celebrity. Are you related?"

Flirty. You use the fact that she looks like a well-know celebrity to initiate a conversation.

"Hey. I am new here. Can you tell me where to find the toilet / leg press ect?"

Use the fact that you are new at the gym to try and strike up a conversation. Low risk.

"Ouch. Do you know if there is a gym nurse? I think I ripped my biceps."

Some people like playing the victim and some women respond to it. Low risk.

"Lisa? Is that you? … Sorry, you look just like her. No offense, she looks good."

Pretend to know her to start a conversation. Advanced users only. High risk. Throw in a backhanded compliment.

"Are you okay? Do you need help with that? (React to something she does.)"

Paying attention can yield results. Be ready to react to conspicuous things she does and problems she encounters. Easy.

"Wow you are slim. I really need to diet. … Are you counting calories?"

Start with a compliment and some self-deprecating humor. Slightly flirty.

"You can leave the weights. I am doing the same exercise."

You see her starting to unload her weights and quickly use the situation to establish contact.

"You are Russian, right? (Use information you have to start talking.)"

Listen and watch. You may pick up information about people that makes it easier to start talking to them. Nationality is just an example.

Overview

The gym is an excellent location for meeting women and making friends in general. You can either talk to a specific group of people by going at the same time or be presented with new people by changing the time you visit the gym.

Since most people go to the gym regularly, you have little or no stress, allowing you to take steps when you are ready and at your own pace.

However, some people and especially some women are simply there to train and are not willing to talk to people and may get annoyed if you try to force interactions. So it pays to simply be friendly, make eye contact, greet people you have seen regularly before and not try to force people into talking.

Eye contact is also key, as many people listen to music during workouts and may not hear you. Clear nonverbal communication is important in those cases.

Top Tips

Here are some useful tips that may help you talk to girls at the gym as a man:

• Make eye-contact and greet people in general.

• Do not talk to women only. People may judge you.

• If you lack courage, start by talking to guys and build your confidence.

• Wait for the right situation. You will generally see people again.

• Make eye contact, smile and raise your head to signal that you want to talk if they are listening to music.

Common Problems

Here are some of the potential problems you may encounter when talking to people and especially women at a fitness facility:

• Some women may complain about you if you try to force conversations.

• People may respond with envy if they see you doing what they would like to be able to do.

• If you talk to too many women you will be perceived as a sleazy person.

• Many people at the gym are not looking for any social interactions. Stay away.

• People listening to music may not hear what you say at first.

How to Learn

As with learning anything it pays to know the theory. Our tool can give you some great ideas for things to say to start talking to people at the gym and how to keep the conversation going.

However, practice is the most important factor: Just like driving a car, knowing how everything works is vital, but without ever doing it, you will never be able to do it in the real world. - Practice is extremely important in building up courage and social skills.

I always recommend starting small. Talking to guys at first before talking to women. Using low-risk opening lines to start a conversation and waiting for opportune moments.

However, if you never start talking to people, you will never master it. So if you do not have the courage yet to talk to anyone at all, you need to change things about yourself to increase your confidence.

Pros

• You see people regularly.

• Many people in a confined space.

• Many ‘excuses’ to start talking.

• Overall an easy place to start talking to people.

Cons

• Some people do not want to talk at all here.

• Rumors and complaints.

• Training takes a long time if you talk a lot.